


Pain is Pain

by Anxiouslykitty



Series: Surviving Together [2]
Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26868730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiouslykitty/pseuds/Anxiouslykitty
Summary: Ada deals with the pain of her grief and Hecate's distance.  Now she can see Hecate's pain too.
Relationships: Amelia Cackle | Ada Cackle/Hardbroom
Series: Surviving Together [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1960153
Kudos: 32





	Pain is Pain

Ada was glad that the new term was starting and the school was once again filled with the sound of girls running around. The summer had been difficult and the quiet of the castle had made her feel lonely. After Agatha died and the girls had all gone home for the summer Ada had found herself alone and sad. She had hoped to spend time with Hecate but whenever she sought her out Hecate seemed to disappear. Hecate had even gone on a month-long vacation for the first time since her binding to the school had been lifted. Ada was happy Hecate was moving on and letting herself leave the castle, but selfishly she wished she had stayed so Ada wouldn’t have felt alone.

Hecate keeping busy was something Ada was accustomed to. However, Hecate’s behavior over the summer break was out of character and had Ada a little worried. Normally they would spend time preparing for the next term together. This year Hecate’s plans for the next term had appeared on Ada’s desk with no explanation and when Ada searched her out for a follow up Hecate had said she was busy and asked Ada to make notes she could reply to. Ada wasn’t sure why Hecate was suddenly avoiding her, but it was starting to make her doubt herself.

The morning after Agatha died Ada had woken up in bed with Hecate. She felt comfortable in Hecate’s arms and so safe. She had been conflicted about what to do when she had woken and Hecate was still asleep. She finally decided she didn’t want to disturb Hecate because she looked more peaceful then Ada had ever seen her. She had gotten up and gotten dressed before heading to work in her office. She would have stayed if she had known that was the last time she would be that close to Hecate. After that morning Hecate hadn’t talked to her for more than a few minutes and not about anything personal. Now Ada found herself feeling like Hecate regretted Ada asking her to stay with her that night. She wished she could just tell Hecate she was sorry so they could return to normal.

Ada decided she needed a break from being trapped in the castle and headed outside to take a walk. She saw Hecate scolding a group of girls across the lawn and although she wanted to talk to her she knew Hecate would only make an excuse to leave. She decided to head in the other direction and walk through the garden for a bit. Before she got very far she heard a loud commotion from the lawn and decided to turn back to see what was happening. As she came back on the lawn she could see a group of girls looking up at the sky and yelling. Hecate and Dimity were both looking at the same thing. Hecate had her hands up like she was about to cast a spell. Ada picked up her pace and headed for the crowd.

As she approached the group she finally caught sight of what they all must have been watching. Coming directly at her was Mildred Hubble on a broom that was out of control. Before Ada could do anything Mildred Hubble fell off the low flying broom and collided with her knocking her to the ground quite hard. The collision knocked the wind out of her and she gasped for air. 

“Ada” Hecate screamed.

Ada could hear someone scream her name and she tried to sit up. Suddenly Mildred’s face appeared in her view.

“Ms. Cackle I’m so sorry” Mildred apologized.

Ada gave her a small smile and put her hand out for Mildred to help her up. As she stood and straightened her dress she saw Hecate running towards her with Dimity following. Hecate pushed Mildred away from Ada and grabbed Ada by both arms.

“Are you okay” Hecate asked frantically. “Are you injured?”

Hecate’s face looked terrified. Ada was much more concerned for Hecate than she was for herself. 

“I’m fine Hecate” Ada encouraged. “No harm done. I’m just curious what has led Mildred here to be flying so recklessly.” 

Hecate's face was pale and Ada was sure that Hecate’s hands were shaking under the grip she had on Ada. Suddenly Hecate took a step away from Ada and transferred away. Ada looked to Dimity in shock before she realized the girls were looking to her to see what would happen next. Ada tried to regroup and turned on Mildred and the small group of girls.

“Mildred I’ll expect you in my office after lunch to discuss this and the rest of you please find something less dangerous to occupy the rest of your time” Ada instructed.

Sensing the finality of their dismissal the girls scurried away from the two teachers. Ada looked to Dimity after the girls were far enough away.

“Have you noticed anything strange about Hecate’s behaviour lately” Ada asked Dimity.

Dimity shifted uncomfortably and looked away from Ada.

“I don’t know,” Dimity answered quietly.

“Dimity you really shouldn’t lie dear, you really aren’t good at it” Ada gently scolded.

Dimity looked back at Ada and fidgeted some more.

“I told Hecate I wouldn’t say anything to you,” Dimity admitted.

Ada’s heart clenched and her stomach flipped. She tried to calm her mind from the many different scenarios she was imagining could be wrong with Hecate that she wouldn’t want Ada to know. 

“What’s wrong Dimity” Ada pleaded.

Dimity took a step towards Ada and looked around nervously. 

“When you...When Agatha...” Dimity stuttered.

Ada placed a hand gently on Dimity’s arm and gave her a small smile.

“It’s okay Dimity. Just tell me” Ada encouraged.

“She was devastated when you…” Dimity started. “She tried everything to get you back. She even offered up all her magic to put you back together.”

Ada’s face felt warm and she could feel tears start to well up in her eyes. She tried to blink them away. How could Hecate offer her magic to fix her?

“Since then I think she’s been struggling,” Dimity continued. “I found her after the Head Girl assembly crying and hyperventilating on her bedroom floor. She hasn’t said anything about it since but I think it’s happened more over the summer. I know I should have said something but she was adamant I didn't tell you.”

Ada wrapped her arms around her middle holding tight. She felt sick thinking of Hecate suffering all summer without anybody to help her. Ada was mad at herself for not noticing sooner that something was wrong. She tried to look strong for Dimity who was looking at the ground ashamed of having kept a secret from Ada and for breaking Hecate’s trust.

“Thank you Dimity” Ada encouraged. “It’s good that you told me. Now I can try to help Hecate. I won’t tell her you told me.”

Dimity looked up from the ground and gave Ada a small smile. Ada turned and left heading straight for Hecate’s room. She resisted the urge to run to get to Hecate faster, but she certainly was walking faster than she normally did. It only took her a few minutes to get to Hecate’s room and she stopped outside the door. Inside she could hear a strange sound and she acted before thinking, opening Hecate’s door and walking in.

Hecate wasn’t wearing her regular dress but only had on a black slip that went down to her knees. She was on the floor on her knees curled up with her face in her hands on the floor. Her back rose and fell in a stuttered pattern that corresponded with a startling sound that Ada realized was Hecate trying to breathe. 

Ada shut the door quickly behind her and moved to where Hecate was on the floor. At the sound of the door shutting Hecate’s head shot up and she looked at Ada coming at her. Her face was pale and her eyes heavy. Seeing Ada she tried to scramble away but her breathing kept her on the floor. Ada stopped short at the sight of Hecate trying to get away from her.

“Hecate” Ada pleaded.

Hecate’s eyes were wide with fear and her breathing came in short stuttered bursts. She clutched at her chest with one of her hands while the other uselessly grabbed at the floor.

“Hecate, I’m going to come closer” Ada said calmly as she walked slowly to Hecate’s side.

Ada slowly knelt down and looked into Hecate’s eyes. She slowly reached her hands out and grabbed Hecate’s shoulders. Hecate tensed under Ada’s hands and she squirmed under the attention. Ada calmly started to pull Hecate forward until she slumped against Ada’s body. Ada wrapped her arms around Hecate gently and began whispering in her ear.

“It’s okay Hecate. Take slow breaths with me” Ada instructed.

Ada slowly stroked Hecate’s back. Ada felt sick listening to Hecate struggle to breathe. How could she have been so blind to Hecate being in this much pain? How did she miss that Hecate needed her?

“That’s it, slow deep breaths. Follow along with me” Ada encouraged.

Hecate slowly began to breathe slower and deeper, but every few breaths she choked and gasped for air.

“You’re safe Hecate. I’m here” Ada whispered.

Hecate’s breathing was calming and she pulled away from Ada. Ada didn’t want to force her to stay but she felt wrong letting Hecate out of her grip. Hecate scooted away to lean against the wall a few feet from Ada.

“Hecate, don’t pull away from me” Ada pleaded. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Hecate wouldn’t make eye contact with Ada and Ada could see that there were tears falling down Hecate’s cheeks. Ada scooted forward a bit so that she could lean against the bed. She wanted to hold Hecate and take all her pain away, but she knew Hecate would never allow it. 

“I know something is wrong,” Ada sighed. “I want to help.”

“I don’t know what’s happening to me” Hecate gasped.

Ada’s heart clenched at the pain and fear in Hecate’s voice. She had never felt like this about anyone else in her whole life. The feelings were almost overwhelming and she had to force herself to stay in the present.

“I think you might be having panic attacks” Ada offered. “Do you know what is causing them?”

Hecate shook her head. Hecate had heard from some of the girls about panic attacks but she had never really learned anything about them. 

“What are you doing before the attacks” Ada asked.

Hecate looked away from Ada again and crossed her arms across her chest. Ada could tell there was something that Hecate didn’t want to say. She knew that she would have to just wait and let Hecate talk when she was ready so Ada looked down at her skirt and pretended to straighten it.

“Different things each time” Hecate whispered.

“Is there anything in common between them” Ada asked.

Hecate shifted uncomfortably. She nodded her head.

“You” Hecate whispered.

Ada was shocked. She wasn’t expecting that to be the answer and now she felt nervous about what she had done to cause Hecate so much anguish. 

“Oh Hecate!” Ada gasped. “Is there something I’m doing to upset you?”

Hecate finally made eye contact with Ada. She was clear eyed and shocked. It was the most herself Ada had seen Hecate in months. 

"You've never done anything to upset me Ada" Hecate said clearly. "You couldn't."

Ada felt tears in her eyes. She wasn't sure if they were tears of relief or from the emotion with which Hecate was talking. 

"I don't understand," Ada admitted. 

"When I see you I think about you in pieces" Hecate started. "I remember how scared I was that you were lost forever. How horrid I behaved towards Mildred and Maude, Wormwood’s.... How I almost believed that Agatha was you. How…"

Hecate stopped as a loud sob escaped her body. She looked as surprised by it as Ada was. She reached a hand up and clamped it over her nose and mouth trying to hold it in. Ada reached for Hecate but she flinched away. 

Ada sat back and watched in distress as Hecate tried to regain control of her emotions. She was starting to feel the effects of the collision with Mildred earlier and she shifted to try to get more comfortable. 

"I'm sorry I overstepped the night that Agatha…" Hecate whispered. "I'm sorry I…"

Ada couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could Hecate think she overstepped that night? Ada didn't know how she could have gotten through without Hecate. 

"Oh Hecate" Ada interrupted. "Is that why you've been so distant this summer?"

"You were gone when I woke up" Hecate whimpered.

"I didn't want to wake you," Ada explained. "I am so grateful to you for being there that night."

"Really" Hecate asked.

Ada made another attempt to move closer to Hecate and this time she didn't flinch away. So although her knees were not happy about crawling on a stone floor that's what she did. She crawled the few feet until she was kneeling in front of Hecate. 

"Hecate, you did exactly as I asked that night" Ada said placing a comforting hand on Hecate's knee. "It's me that should apologize for asking so much of you and making you feel uncomfortable."

Hecate placed a hand on top of Ada's and gave her a small smile. 

"You could never make me feel uncomfortable. I was just worried I had hurt you" Hecate replied. 

"No, the only person who hurt me was Agatha," Ada encouraged. 

They sat quietly for a minute neither knowing what to say. Ada shifted as the pain began to settle in her knees. 

"I want to help you stop these panic attacks," Ada said, breaking the silence. "If you'll let me."

"I'd appreciate that," Hecate replied quietly. 

Ada shifted off her knees and sat down next to Hecate against the wall. They held hands and sat quietly thinking about how much confusion had led them to this point and what they could do to move forward.


End file.
